Dearest Mother and Grandmother: Happy Mother’s Day

To my dearest mother and grandmother,

Happy Mother’s Day! For the few readers who do not belong to my family and/or don’t have the pleasure of knowing my mother and grandmother, an introduction:

Almost 27 years ago, on an extremely hot day in mid-August, Blogger Dearest entered into this world, the first born child of Don and Vera*. She and Dad sacrificed a lot to put my sister and I through private school our entire lives. We grew up in a middle class neighborhood, the kind where it was okay to let your kids play out of your sight without worrying too much. She worked until my sister was born and then stayed home with Tristin* and I until Tristin was in school full-time.

I guess the most important thing to know about Vera is this: don’t mess with her. She’s a serious mother hen. And not only to us and our family, but to my friends and the other important people in our lives as well. She’s also ridiculously hilarious! Especially when there’s margaritas and/or card playing involved. She’s tough and a softy all rolled into one. She taught me it’s okay to be a bitch, but it’s also okay to cry.

There was a time when we didn’t see eye to eye very often. We’re both Leos so we were bound to clash at some point. I remember telling one of my younger cousins once not to give my aunt such a hard time because one day, they’d be friends, just like my mom and I. We talk everyday, sometimes more than once, so I can keep track of what’s going on at home and what my puppies are up to. I’ve called her at 3 a.m. to pick my friends and I up from the bar. She navigates through cop road blocks and doesn’t protest when we want to go through McDonald’s drive-thru on the way home.

Now Grandmother (maternal): well she’s one tough bird also. She recently turned 87 and has seen a lot. She lived through the Depression and raised my two oldest aunts while my grandpa served in the Army as a police officer during WWII. They were married for almost 57 years before my grandpa died of cancer. I remember their 50th wedding anniversary like yesterday. My family still swears that may be the greatest time we’ve ever had. I also remember thinking how lucky they were since not many people make it to 20 or 25 years these days, let alone 50. Raising eight kids was no easy task I’m sure, but Grandma did it with pleasure and many funny stories to share along the way. If I ever become half as strong as she is, I’ll consider myself very, very lucky.

Tristin and I used to give Grandma a hanging plant every year for Mother’s Day and she would hang it on the roofed patio at her old house. And every year, a bird would make a nest in it. Whenever we’d come over, she’d tap the bottom of the plant so mama bird would fly away, and then would show us the eggs and little birds inside. I miss that patio and the garden she and my Grandpa kept. Some of my favorite summer memories are helping them pick tomatoes, green beans and onions.

My paternal grandmother passed away when I was four, so I unfortunately don’t have many memories of her. But my dad’s family always refers to a full moon as Grandma’s moon, and I think about her everytime I see it. I have a cross that belonged to her and it’s a superstition of mine that I have to have it on the nightstand next to my bed.

I took a class in college called Women, Minorities and Media. We watched some old school black and white movie, the kind where the women literally fall all over the bodies of their dying men. We had to write a response paper and I remember writing about how there’s no way in hell the women in my family would act like that. Of course they would be sad, but would suck it up and get things done and let life go on. I kept the paper somewhere because my professor wrote a comment saying she’d like to meet the women in my family. Everyone of my friends who has met my mom and grandma always say the same thing, “Ahh it all makes sense now.” Meaning they understand why I am the way I am because of them. I may be loud, have an attitude to boot and not take crap from anyone, but that’s because I saw Mom and Grandma do the same thing. They also taught me to have a heart and laugh out loud. And for that I will always be grateful.

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest

*Note: I’ve changed the names of my family and friends to protect their privacy.

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