Dear Graduation Season: I Wish I Could Go Back to College

Dear Graduating Class of 2010,

Let me give you some words of wisdom no one had the balls to tell me: Most of your dreams won’t come true. You probably aren’t going to land your dream job within the next few months, let alone the next few years. You will get that piece of paper that claims you are smart and guess what? People won’t give a shit. And many of you will have thousands of dollars in student loans to pay back. Ain’t that a bitch?

I was visiting a college friend for her birthday last weekend and we both agreed on one thing we’ve learned over the last five years since we donned a cap and gown: we wish we could do it all over again. I was lucky enough to meet a great group of girls freshman year in my dorm and I still keep in contact with most of them. I never thought five years out we would be using the overly used cop out, “I’m so busy,” but truth is, we are! We all have our own lives, some of us are married or have significant others, careers, school, fledgling blogs like this one…

All of the busy-ness doesn’t take away from the times we shared at Quincy University though. It was where we grew up, fell apart and put it all together again. It’s where we had too much fun, if that’s possible. It’s where we learned and loved and walked away from it all, and each other, after just four short years. Going to a small school is so much different. Although it was annoying at times having everyone knowing everyone’s business, I’m glad I didn’t go to a big school where I was just a number. But if I could, I’d go back right now, with the same people and live it up. Skip class to drink over at the fraternity house all day on St. Patrick’s Day. Stay in St. Patrick’s Day senior year to study for my statistics test…no wait, take that back. That was the best St. Pat’s ever. I could go on and on about past college shenanigans, but this post would never end! I remember hearing high school were the best years of your life. Ha! College kicked high school’s ass, fo sho!

I think this is the first year since I graduated I was able to read about ceremonies and see people in caps and gowns without crying. I’m not a big crier by any means, but it was such a significant time that I can’t help but remember it fondly and be sad because it was so short. It was the most formative period of my life and I’m even grateful for all the mistakes I made. I learned early I get kicked down and always fight to get back up, even if it takes me a while. But eventually I make it back, stronger and more kick ass than before.

Also, check out the song, “I Wish I Could Go Back to College,” from the musical Avenue Q. Even if you’re not a show tunes’ person, you’ll find it spot on!

Share some of your own college experiences!

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest

Dearest Mother and Grandmother: Happy Mother’s Day

To my dearest mother and grandmother,

Happy Mother’s Day! For the few readers who do not belong to my family and/or don’t have the pleasure of knowing my mother and grandmother, an introduction:

Almost 27 years ago, on an extremely hot day in mid-August, Blogger Dearest entered into this world, the first born child of Don and Vera*. She and Dad sacrificed a lot to put my sister and I through private school our entire lives. We grew up in a middle class neighborhood, the kind where it was okay to let your kids play out of your sight without worrying too much. She worked until my sister was born and then stayed home with Tristin* and I until Tristin was in school full-time.

I guess the most important thing to know about Vera is this: don’t mess with her. She’s a serious mother hen. And not only to us and our family, but to my friends and the other important people in our lives as well. She’s also ridiculously hilarious! Especially when there’s margaritas and/or card playing involved. She’s tough and a softy all rolled into one. She taught me it’s okay to be a bitch, but it’s also okay to cry.

There was a time when we didn’t see eye to eye very often. We’re both Leos so we were bound to clash at some point. I remember telling one of my younger cousins once not to give my aunt such a hard time because one day, they’d be friends, just like my mom and I. We talk everyday, sometimes more than once, so I can keep track of what’s going on at home and what my puppies are up to. I’ve called her at 3 a.m. to pick my friends and I up from the bar. She navigates through cop road blocks and doesn’t protest when we want to go through McDonald’s drive-thru on the way home.

Now Grandmother (maternal): well she’s one tough bird also. She recently turned 87 and has seen a lot. She lived through the Depression and raised my two oldest aunts while my grandpa served in the Army as a police officer during WWII. They were married for almost 57 years before my grandpa died of cancer. I remember their 50th wedding anniversary like yesterday. My family still swears that may be the greatest time we’ve ever had. I also remember thinking how lucky they were since not many people make it to 20 or 25 years these days, let alone 50. Raising eight kids was no easy task I’m sure, but Grandma did it with pleasure and many funny stories to share along the way. If I ever become half as strong as she is, I’ll consider myself very, very lucky.

Tristin and I used to give Grandma a hanging plant every year for Mother’s Day and she would hang it on the roofed patio at her old house. And every year, a bird would make a nest in it. Whenever we’d come over, she’d tap the bottom of the plant so mama bird would fly away, and then would show us the eggs and little birds inside. I miss that patio and the garden she and my Grandpa kept. Some of my favorite summer memories are helping them pick tomatoes, green beans and onions.

My paternal grandmother passed away when I was four, so I unfortunately don’t have many memories of her. But my dad’s family always refers to a full moon as Grandma’s moon, and I think about her everytime I see it. I have a cross that belonged to her and it’s a superstition of mine that I have to have it on the nightstand next to my bed.

I took a class in college called Women, Minorities and Media. We watched some old school black and white movie, the kind where the women literally fall all over the bodies of their dying men. We had to write a response paper and I remember writing about how there’s no way in hell the women in my family would act like that. Of course they would be sad, but would suck it up and get things done and let life go on. I kept the paper somewhere because my professor wrote a comment saying she’d like to meet the women in my family. Everyone of my friends who has met my mom and grandma always say the same thing, “Ahh it all makes sense now.” Meaning they understand why I am the way I am because of them. I may be loud, have an attitude to boot and not take crap from anyone, but that’s because I saw Mom and Grandma do the same thing. They also taught me to have a heart and laugh out loud. And for that I will always be grateful.

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest

*Note: I’ve changed the names of my family and friends to protect their privacy.

Dear Family and Friends: You Complely Rock.

Dear family and friends,

You are absolutely crazy. And for that, I love you. So this weekend, Blogger Dearest braved mass transit to the suburbs of Chicago for a cousin’s wedding. Drunken familial shenanigans ensued, including my aunt Karen* telling me “Don’t let your dress blow up around your ‘avenue.’” Then she changed it to Cape Canaveral (I didn’t really follow this one, but it was friggin hilarious) and finally my mom topped it off with Grand Canyon. You know that really loud table at the restaurant you can’t wait to get away from? Yeah that’s usually us. And we plain don’t give a F.

Several years ago at another cousin’s wedding, my dearest father had a few too many and proceeded to do a Michael Jackson dance-off with himself. It’s never been forgotten at any major family event since. At one point at the reception, the DJ yells out over the speakers, “Okay everyone, make a circle around Uncle Don!”, an MJ song comes on and my ham of a dad went to work. My 60+ year old aunt Donna kept pulling me and my best friend, M, onto the dance floor all night. But in the midst of all the drunkenness, I looked around and got mushy for a minute about how awesome my family is. They ridiculously crazy and can be absolutely, positively infuriating and annoying, but they’re all mine.

And as for my friends, they’re just fabulous. Especially M, who continually and purposefully insists on spending  time with my family. M and I met in college during dance team try-outs and became closer after joining the sorority. But it was living together senior year that cemented her presence in my life. The greatest thing is we both indulge each other’s craziest ideas, like stealing roadblocks and jumping on beds like we’re five when we’re supposed to be napping. It’s to the point now that any family function I show up to without her, I get asked eighty thousand times where she is. But that’s why I love her because she loves my crazy family as much I do.

This is kind of rambling, but sometimes you ramble your way through life, with your ridiculous family and friends at your side every step of the way!

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest

*The names of my family members have been changed to protect them in the lack of innocence.

Dear Blogger Dearest:You Have Writer’s Block

Dear Blogger Dearest,

Yes this is a note to self and yes you/I realize you/I am posting this for the entire world to see just how crazy you really are. You/I have not posted in a long time. It’s been said you/I should always write about what you/I know, and frankly dear lady, you/I know a lot. Like the fact the Magnificent Mile in Chicago isn’t even an entire mile long. Don’t ask me exactly how long it is, but it ain’t a mile. And the fact this whole you/I thing is old and should be abandoned immediately.

It’s not like nothing has happened lately. But it’s either stuff that’s not quite interesting enough to be placed on here, or it’s slightly inappropriate. Like the fact I was drunk last Monday and Tuesday nights. Hey it was the NCAA championship on Monday and I had plans with a friend who may give me a job on Tuesday. But no one needs to hear about those shenanigans. Especially since I’m pretty sure my aunts who are my friends on Facebook read this. I’m pretty sure they already know I’m crazy. They don’t need concrete proof.

I’m rambling! Ugh!!!!! I need inspiration! Anything!!! Your rabid readers, all three of them, need something to fulfill their desire for your wit and charm. You are severely letting them down. I’m switching between the first and second person. Yup it’s official you/I are/am completely and utterly insane.

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest

Dear Mother Nature: You better not be a teasing bitch.

Dear Mother Nature,

So nice of you to show your warm side!  It was quite a pleasant change from the 100 degrees below zero we had all winter here in Chicago.  Almost all the snow is melted and I think I even heard birds yesterday.  And no, not the pigeons who dive bomb people at the El stations.  Actually friggin birds!  I was able to venture out in just a light trench coat today instead of my wool coat and fake Ugg boots.  It was nice to get off work at 5, take the train and walk home through my neighborhood around 6 while the sun was just setting in the west.  Ah!  These are the days Chicagoans live for!

Now here’s the deal: don’t be a teasing bitch.  No one likes a tease.  Now I understand we can’t jump to 85 and sunny right away.  The forecast calls for rain starting tomorrow through the weekend and that’s okay.  Spring is supposed to be rainy so we can have grass, leaves, crops, etc.  But I sincerely hope high temperatures don’t drop back into the 30s again.  That would just be mean.  Let’s just keep things with highs in the 50s, maybe upper 40s on our cold days.  That would be perfect.  And please have a hot summer.  None of this 95 for a week.  I’m talking all of July and August with lows of 80.  I’m a summer baby so I like it hot!  Chicago is the  best in the summer and after last year’s cooler summer, we deserve a little more fun and sun.  Keep up the good work.  Global warming sucks!

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest

Dear Federal Income Tax Return…Come to Mama!

Dear IRS,

Thank you! I never thought I’d say that.  Ever.  But thanks.  Or maybe I should thank my underemployment status for the big fat return I’m getting this year.  Seriously best year ever.  And my state taxes aren’t even done yet.  Not getting my hopes up on that one.  Governor Quinn needs the money for the budget deficit.  But I digress.  Every year I make grand plans on what to do with my tax return and most of the time I spend it on somewhat frivolous things I don’t really need.  This year will be different.  This year I’ll be paying off the last of my tuition bill from my graduate degree so I can get my diploma.  Which I will probably promptly set on fire and cry as it burns since thus far, it has done me little good.  After that, I’ll still have quite a chunk of change left, so I’m finally investing in a new box spring and mattress set!  Haven’t started shopping around yet, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!  I’ll have a couple hundred dollars left over after that to either save for a rainy day or maybe buy myself one of the more frivolous things I seem to adore so much.  Anyone who knows me knows how much the frivolous purchase angel seems to influence me more than the rainy day fund angel.  The rainy day fund is so boring…until you need it of course.

So my dear readers, what are you doing with your tax return?!

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest

Dear Under-employment…I’m Over You.

Dear Under-Employment,

You were kinda fun for the last two weeks.  I was working in a temporary full-time position helping a quasi-government agency update its intranet website.  It was great.  I learned a lot.  But when they couldn’t hire me on, I somewhat understood.  I admit I had a being-a-Leo-induced, “Why-aren’t-they-hiring-me-I’m-fucking-fabulous-and-they’re-so-lucky-to-have-me!” moment.  But times are tough, hundreds of people didn’t have such a great opportunity, blah blah blah.

I was welcome to the break after working two jobs through the holidays and barely having any time to eat, sleep, make my lists and check them twice.  I came home from my last day at the previous job to open my Netflix account and see what I could watch instantly on my computer.  Lo and behold, one of my favorite shows of all time, Law and Order: SVU, was available for instant viewing.  All 10 glorious seasons.  That’s all I’ve been doing basically for the last two weeks.  I’m not sure if I’m sad or proud to say I’m halfway through season seven after viewing seven episodes last night after I got home from a friend’s birthday celebration in Milwaukee.

So while I like SVU, endless access to my refrigerator and not showering for days on end because I have no reason to leave my studio apartment, alas there comes a time when a girl has to grab the under-employment bull by the balls.  Today I began my official, focused job hunt.  And let me tell you: it sucks.  There’s so much to weed through and my biggest problem is I’m still not 100 percent sure what I want to do/be when I “grow up.”  I have this journalism degree and would obviously like to use it in a professional capacity.  I have plenty of experience in retail sales/fashion knowledge that  I could put to use.  As I told my best friend earlier, I’m focused on the job hunt, but not panicked…yet.  I have some time before things get really pinched, aka my lease is up and I have nowhere to live…again.  I’m trying to be positive and we’ll see what happens.

Any job hunting stories/horror stories/tips?  Thanks!

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest

Dear MTV/Pop Culture…I don’t get Jersey Shore

I am unfortunately without a working TV right now.  But luckily for me, all the shows I watch are also available online, so no harm, no foul.  But not having a working TV does put me behind in the latest hot new show.  Well at least until I hear about it on Twitter, Facebook, CNN, and from my friends and co-workers.  So I’ve obviously been inundated with information about this supposed pop culture phenomenon called Jersey Shore.  I held off as long as I could, but my curiosity got the best of me.  So I went to MTV’s website and watched the first few episodes.

And this is what was running through my head: WTF?! Is this what we as Americans really find to be of high entertainment value? And ARE THESE KIDS FOR REAL?  Do these people really think that going to the gym, tanning, and doing laundry are the best way to get ready for a night out where they will try to hook up with as many people who spent their day doing the same thing?  What does this teach the youth of America?

I mean seriously, these people cannot think what they’re doing is normal behavior.  I’ve been of age for some time now, and have rarely seen people act like that.  Thank God!  And I’ve lived in Chicago for almost three years now, so I’ve seen drunken Cubs’ fans do some pretty retarded stuff.

Bottom line: I don’t get why people are so obsessed with this show.  Yes, I’ve heard people come out and say point blank, to my face, “I am obsessed with Jersey Shore.”  A few of my co-workers are planning to try and meet the people from the show when they’re in Chicago.  One of my co-workers even bought a GTL t-shirt.  The people featured on the shows are pulling tens of thousands of dollars for appearances.  Notice I didn’t say stars…I don’t want to inflate their Bump-Its anymore than they already are.  I don’t get what a “situation” is, unless that “situation” is this show goes away.  Which I think I just read the show got picked up for a second season.  Here’s hoping the ratings tank and we’ll all be done with this.  I’ve also read that clubs have been shut down when these people show up because the patrons are fighting to get to meet them, touch them, etc.  AAAAAHHHHH! The only reasonable explanation I can come up with is Americans are seriously desperate for a distraction away from war, healthcare, don’t ask don’t tell, and the economy/unemployment.  So I’m off my soap box now…laundry calls.

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest

Dear Neighbors…Shovel Your Sidewalks!

Dear Residents of Ravenswood,

When this fluffy white stuff called snow starts to fall gently and quietly from the sky, and then begins accumulating on the ground, at some point it needs to be removed.  Now for the streets to be cleared, we rely on Mayor Richard M. Daley and the Department of Streets and Sanitation to get everything cleared in a timely manner.   But for sidewalks, you know  those concrete areas between the street and our apartments, the responsibility of beign cleared falls o nwhomever owns the building or lives there.  Just so everyone knows, it is a city ordinance that snow must be cleared from sidewalks five feet wide or narrower within three hours of snow falling.  So if it starts snowing say at noon, and doesn’t stop again until 5 a.m. the next morning, the sidewalk is going to need to be cleared more than once.  Not clearing snow can result to a $50 fine even!  On our first big snowfall of the winter, if I had charged $20 to shovel sidewalks while walking to work, I could have easily made $160, probably more.  For people who aren’t math geniuses, that’s at least eight buildings that hadn’t been cleared.  I pay rent, which includes the removal of snow, and a lot of the buildings I passed were multiple-unit apartment buildings.  But the maintenance staff or whoever is in charge of snow removal should have had things cleared.  I leave for work promptly at 7 a.m.  I do not like having snow covering my feet because I walk fast and trapsing through that deep of snow slows me down, which I really don’t like.  So please be courteous and keep things clear!  Oh P.S. use salt too!

Dear 2009: So Long…and Good Riddance.

Dear 2009,

I can’t say I’m sorry you’re gone.  This post may be a little late, but better late than never.  2009 started off on a good note.  I had a kick ass internship at a start-up media company, The Printed Blog.  I was finishing my final semester of my masters degree.  I graduated in May and for a brief day, I actually felt/believed all the graduation ceremony speech’s promises: I can do anything! I can change the world! And then reality set in.  I had a master’s degree…and no full-time job.  I looked and looked, finding said job to be ever so elusive.  My lease with my best friend K ended in June and I squatted on her couch for six weeks.  Then her new roommate decided it was time for me to go.  Ouch…big ouch!  I then couch surfed with a co-worked from mid-August til November.  Finally a full-time, albeit temporary, job came about in September, making things a lot easier.  I know they say money can’t buy happiness, but it sure is less stressful.  I started this fledgling blog and moved into my own place early in November.  The holiday season brought a crap ton of work between my full-time and part-time jobs.  I got to spend some quality family time at home over Christmas, the first days I had off since before Thanksgiving.

All in all, 2009 taught me a lot of lessons.  I won’t go into all of them here, but the biggest one was no matter what, I’ll always have me.  I put up with a lot of ups and downs last year and I somehow came out okay in some situations, and actually on top in others.  I decided a long time ago  that New Year’s resolutions don’t work, so instead I try to be better at things instead of overhauling completely.  So this year, I vow to have a more positive outlook on the job-hunting from.  Some of that “The Secret” new philosophy stuff.  I vow to spend more time keeping this blog updated with the crazy occurences of life in this great city of Chicago.

How do you feel about the New Year?  Any resolutions for you?  Post below!

Sincerely,

Blogger Dearest